The reasons why a child between the ages 2-5 refuses to eat might surprise you. The good news is, making a few simple adjustments can change everything!
If you’d like to learn more about this topic in a visual way, check out my Google web stories on 5+ reasons your child refuses to eat and what to do!
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As frustrating as it is, food refusal is 100% normal
There’s nothing quite as frustrating and defeating as spending time prepping, cooking, and serving a meal, only to have your child refuse to eat.
Having three kids myself, and knowing the importance of nutrition for growth and development (after all, I am a pediatric dietitian), I know just how hard this can be.
As much as we want to micromanage our child’s food intake though, doing so creates major power struggles, mealtime meltdowns and stress for everyone.
Here’s the thing:
Kids’ eating patterns are random, unpredictable and all over the map. That’s why it’s so important not to go into mealtimes with an agenda, and focus on what you CAN and SHOULD control. Before diving into the 10 common reasons a child refuses to eat, let’s go over division of responsibility in feeding.
Division of responsibility in feeding (sDOR)
I’m a big fan of the division of responsibility in feeding (sDOR).
This philosophy comes from Ellyn Satter, who is a childhood feeding expert and author. Her strategy has been heavily researched and has been proven over and over and over again to work wonders with families and children.
The sDOR distinguishes between a parent/caregiver’s responsibilities in feeding and the child’s responsibility:
Parents/caregivers are in charge of:
- What is served
- When it’s served
- Where it’s served
Kids are in charge of:
- Whether they eat
- How much they eat
As simple as it sounds, this philosophy will transform your mealtimes. I promise!
99% of picky eating issues stem from the sDOR not being followed. And with good intention, well-meaning parents go into meals with an agenda, and believe it’s their job to “get their child to eat”.
Repeat after me: “It’s NOT my job to get my kid to eat”.
Sarah Remmer, RD
When we start to feel frustrated and defeated in the face of picky eating, we can often resort to techniques such as:
- Bribing: “if you eat three more bites of broccoli you can have dessert”
- Shaming: “your brother always eats his vegetables, so why can’t you?!”
- Punishing: “no TV tonight for you because you didn’t eat all of your dinner”
- Forcing: “you cannot get down from the table until you have had two more bites”
- Distracting: “you can watch your favorite show while you eat your dinner”
These may act as short-term solutions, but they can negatively affect our kids’ eating and nutrition long term. Although these tactics are extremely tempting, especially when you’ve witnessed your little one finally eat a decent portion of their meal as a result, looking through your “short-term feeding lens” (“I just want him to eat his meal!”) actually sets your child up for failure later on.
Overtime, kids stop trusting their own physical hunger cues and become less intuitive, relying more on external cues to tell them what to eat, and picky eating habits become worse.
Feeling frustrated and hopeless with your picky eater?
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How to set up kids up for eating success
The more pressure they feel, the less likely they’ll eat and enjoy mealtimes.
This is the opposite of what we want as parents.
We want to nurture our child’s natural ability to eat intuitively. We want our kids to trust their bodies and learn how to self-regulate. We want our kids to have a healthy long-term relationship with food.
Understanding why a child refuses to eat
To give you some context into why your child may be refusing to eat, I’ve listed the 10 most common reasons a child refuses to eat below (and some possible solutions).
Like I mentioned earlier, kids’ eating patterns are all over the place and there are so many factors that play into if and how much they eat.
As long as you:
- follow the sDOR
- focus on your responsibilities as the parent (what, when and where)
- keep mealtimes as positive and pleasant as possible, and
- focus on your own meal
you’re doing your job as the child’s parent/caregiver!
10 common reasons a child refuses to eat at meals
- They feel pressure
- They feel that they have no say
- They’re bored
- They’re simply not hungry
- They’re distracted
- Portions are too big
- They’re not feeling well
- Too much milk (or juice)
- There are too many snacks
- They’re too tired
1. They feel pressure
If a child feels pressure to eat or senses that you as the parent are anxious at mealtimes, they will likely back off and not eat.
Toddlers and young kids sense pressure, even if it’s not as direct as “eat your peas!” If you focus too much on what and how much they’re eating during a meal instead of allowing them to simply be another eater at the table (while you focus on your own meal), they’ll become anxious and likely resist eating.
Perhaps you:
- push food closer to them
- watch them every move
- hover over them
- continually take uneaten food off of their tray and replace it with new food
- talk about their lack of eating
- try to spoon-feed them
these are all forms of indirect pressure.
How to fix it:
Let your toddler self-feed and eat at their own pace at meals, provide lots of food variety at meals in manageable amounts, and let them be in charge of whether and how much they eat. Try your best not to hover over your child. I know–it’s hard not to when they hardly touch their food. Sit back and engage in conversations with the whole family, including your child.
If you can think about mealtime more as “family bonding time” than “get my kid to eat time”, your child won’t feel as pressured and will be more open to trying new or previously rejected foods.
2. They feel that they have no say
We know from research that kids eat better when they have a hand in helping with shopping, preparing, cooking or serving their meal.
That’s why it’s important to include kids in meal prep–even getting them to mix together ingredients or set the table can help. And even though parents should ultimately be in charge of the “what’s” of feeding, kids might feel as though they have no control or say over what they’re fed if you don’t include them in choosing foods once in a while.
They may grow bored of what you serve them, or perhaps they don’t like the way their food is plated.
How to fix it:
It’s important to set healthy boundaries and uphold your responsibility of “what, when and where”, but it’s also ok to let your kids be a part of the process.
Get them involved in shopping, prepping, menu planning, cooking, serving and cleaning up! I never thought I’d say this, but my kids love packing their lunches now using their Fenigo leak-proof lunchbox sets. They also love these zero waste lunchbox accessories, too.
Yes, involving your kids can make the process a bit longer and maybe a bit more frustrating, but the benefits are huge and it’s worth it.
Try serving meals family-style (sort of a like a deconstructed meal!). Place all of the ingredients on the table and let your kids build their own meal. This still allows you to be in charge of what is served, but gives your kids a sense of independence and control. This strategy works really well with meals like tacos, yogurt parfaits, pasta nights, stir-fries, homemade pizza, buddha bowls and oatmeal “sundaes”.
3. They’re bored
I’m like any parent and get stuck in “food ruts” where I serve the same thing over and over again. Translation: major kid boredom and eventual food refusal.
Here’s an example: after my third baby was born, I felt as though I was in survival mode for a few months (I still do sometimes!) and sent my son to school with the same snack pretty much every day: a healthy granola bar, cheese or yogurt and a piece of fruit. Yep, the same thing over and over again. He started coming home with most of his snack uneaten not just once, but pretty much every day.
In my sleep-deprived state, I didn’t realize that he could be growing tired of his snack, even though he used to love it.
How I fixed it:
I asked him why he wasn’t eating his snack and he said “I don’t know, I just don’t like it any more”. I then asked him if he was bored of it and he replied “yes I’m bored of it”.
We then came up with a few new and different snack option for him together and I try to rotate through three or four of them so that he doesn’t get bored. We get bored of certain foods and so do our kids. This is usually an easy challenge to overcome.
Switch up serving styles. Something as simple as changing the shape or texture of food can make a difference to a child. If raw cauliflower, carrots or celery are too crunchy, steam them. Mix cucumber “coins” with strips, or try sweet potato “fries” instead of roasted sweet potato, or butternut squash soup instead of baked butternut squash! Experiment to see what they like best.
4. They’re simply not hungry
We now know that toddlers’ and kids’ appetites can be unpredictable and erratic at the best of times. After the age of two, growth slows and stabilizes which means that toddlers aren’t as hungry as they used to be.
Kids have “hungry days” and “full days” and that could mean that one day, your child out-eats everyone at the table, and another day they doesn’t eat much at all at his dinner.
As long as you’re maintaining your feeding roles and staying consistent with mealtime boundaries, your child should be in charge of whether and how much they eat. It is possible that your child is simply not physically hungry when a meal is served (for whatever reason) and that’s ok.
How to fix it:
Try to accept “I’m just not hungry” as an acceptable answer, and remind your child that the kitchen will be closed after mealtime.
5. They’re distracted
Allowing your kids to watch TV, watch an iPad, or play with toys at the table is a recipe for distraction.
When a child is watching a show or playing a game on an iPad while eating, they are focusing most, if not ALL, of their attention on screen. There is no attention left for eating their meal, let alone listening to their tummy. With a screen in front of them, kids will can easily under or over-eat because they’re just not paying attention.
Young kids have a hard enough time focusing on their meal with minimal distractions let alone a big shiny moving screen in front of them. The same goes for toys and playing with siblings at the table.
How to fix it:
No toys at the table and no eating in front of the TV (that goes for parent too—no phones at the table!).
Many well-meaning parents depend on screens or toys to distract their child into eating two or three more bites, but this is counter-productive and can make the problem worse (and create a pesky, hard-to-break habit!). Screens and other distractions interfere with a child’s ability to self-regulate and tune in to their appetite.
6. Portions are too big
Some kids are turned off of a meal simply because the portion that they’ve been served is too large and overwhelming.
This was never a problem with my oldest son, but is definitely a problem with my daughter. I used to serve her the same amount that I served my son (this was a mindless habit that I got into), but then after many meal rejections, realized that I was serving her too much. We were wasting food and my daughter was overwhelmed with the portions that I was offering.
How I fixed it:
When I cut her portions down (by more than one half!), she started eating her meals again and sometimes even asked for more.
I served her less of everything, but still made sure that she was getting a nice balanced meal. I realized that I am like this too–if I’m served too large of a portion of any food, I immediately become turned off and don’t eat as much.
7. They’re nervous or scared to try it
Imagine trying a foreign food for the first time, without knowing how it tastes or feels in your mouth. You might be tentative too! Kids have more taste buds than we do too, so all foods have a more intense taste for them.
How to fix it:
Try the tester plate! Try introducing a tester plate to sit next to your child’s real plate or bowl. This is reserved for those foods that are unfamiliar, scary, or “yucky.” Kids don’t have to eat or even taste the foods on this plate, but they can touch them, smell them, mush them, stack them, lick them, or even taste and politely spit them out. It’s a safe and fun way to explore the food without actually eating it. And it brings kids 1 step closer to eventually accepting them later on! The other option is just making sure that foods are separate on their plate. Some kids don’t like foods touching one another so going with a divided plate can work well too. This is my favourite one.
Acknowledge their bravery. Parents often praise their kids for trying new foods or eating certain amounts. Although well intentioned, overpraising at meals sends the wrong message. We want our kids to eat intuitively and to learn to love a variety of foods in their own time.
Instead of praising, notice and acknowledge your child’s bravery when trying something new by saying something like, “That was so brave of you to try the broccoli tonight!” It will boost their confidence and increase the likelihood of your child being more adventurous with other foods too.
Try a “tester plate” for unfamiliar or previously rejected foods. It often works like a charm!
Sarah Remmer, RD
8. Too much milk (or juice)
Between-meal-milk-drinking can have a satiating effect. Milk contains fat as well as protein, two nutrients that make kids feel full. Too much milk can displace other important nutrients too, filling precious tummy space that should have room for a variety of different foods.
Too much milk and juice can also negatively affect dental health.
How to fix it:
Toddlers and children should be offered no more than 500mL (two cups) of milk per day. Try offering half a cup at each meal (or right after), which leaves room for another half cup before bedtime if that is part of your routine. Water should be the only fluid offered between meals for hydration.
Juice contains excess calories and sugar that children don’t need – it fills them up with little nutritional value. Did you know that a 250 mL (1 cup) juice box contains six teaspoons of sugar?
If your children drink juice, limit it to no more than 125 mL (1/2 cup) per day and water it down (and offer at meals with food).
9. There are too many snacks
Kids who “graze” between meals often, or snack randomly throughout the day may come to the table feeling too full to eat their meal.
This is why it is so important to establish structure around snack times.
How to fix it:
There should be a designated snack time where one or two foods of the parent’s choosing (such as yogurt and fruit or cheese and crackers) are offered, rather than snacking being a random free-for-all in between meals.
Toddlers and young kids need to be given the chance to build an appetite for meals, otherwise, they won’t eat much and it will be harder for them to learn self-regulation. This not only disrupts family mealtimes, but can also affect a child’s nutritional intake and overall relationship with food over time.
10. There’s a real medical reason affecting your child’s ability to eat
It is possible that there is a real, physical or medical concern affecting your child’s ability to eat. Here’s 4 legit reasons for picky eating:
Eating is uncomfortable
Eating may actually hurt your child, if there is an underlying medical concern. This could be caused by food allergies, reflux, eosinophilic esophagitis (painful erosions in the esophagus), or severe constipation. Other non-food related conditions that affect comfortable eating are breathing or muscle movement conditions (congenital heart defects, severe asthma, or muscular dystrophy).
Eating feels weird
Kids with sensory integration issues may be more sensitive to tastes, textures, smells and even the sight of food (they just feel more intense!). Sometimes, they simply can’t feel food in their mouth (this is where food pocketing may come in) or they only feel comfortable eating foods with a uniform texture (only crunchy or only smooth).
Eating is just too hard
When oral-motor control and function are compromised, such as with a cleft palate or with malformations of digestive or oral muscles (trachea or esophagus, tongue), eating can be really really tough and painful. Not to mention severe dental issues, enlarged adenoids and tonsils. Ouch! In some of these cases, it is worth seeking professional help from a qualified speech language pathologist, especially if your child can’t chew, or swallow solid foods comfortably by about 15 months.
Eating is scary
Kids who experience trauma while eating — even with no history of picky eating — may refuse to eat (especially the particular food culprit). Think choking, or maybe an experience where a child was forced to eat. Or maybe they got sick (vomited), felt extremely nauseous afterward, or inhaled (aspirated) a food. All of these experiences can make food “scary.”
How to fix it:
If you think this might be the case, it’s important to consult with your child’s doctor and request a referral to a qualified Speech Language Pathologist, Occupational Therapist and/or Paediatric Registered Dietitian who specialize in feeding issues.
Did you know that we offer personalized nutrition counselling for kids and families? If this is something you’d like to learn more about, please visit The Centre for Family Nutrition.
Comments
Kate says
I feel like I’m constantly fighting with our five year old to eat. Could I be pressuring her too much to eat? We sit as a family and eat every night, the next thing we know everyone is done eating and she might have taken one bite. She gets at the table and talks and talks. We encourage talking about our day during supper but we also have to eat. Tonight ended with her going to her room after being at the table for 70 mins and hardly eating a thing. Should I just let her eat what she wants and then nothing more after which is our rule? If so is she just aloud to go play afterwards?
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Kate. Thanks for reaching out! Constantly fighting at the dinner table is no fun. I would start by reminding her that this is mealtime and this is the opportunity to fill her belly. A “normal” mealtime can last anywhere between 30 to 60 minutes, it really depends on your child. Set a limit that works best for you guys and stick to it. One reason that kids enjoy staying at the table is that it means lots of attention from mom and dad :). Let her know that you will be available to play or read books after supper. I would also examine your pre-supper snacks. Make sure there is 2-3 hours between meals and snacks to allow her tummy a chance to feel slightly hungry. Hope this helps. If you’d like to connect more feel free to reach me through my counselling practice! You can email my associate RD directly at lesley@sarahremmer.com
Kavitha says
That was a great read. I would also like to add something on babies who refuse to eat food. There could be several reasons why a baby is refusing to eat food. Some of them are:
– The baby is fed too much liquid because of which it has lost it’s appetite.
– The baby is too young to feed solid food.
– There are too many distractions for your baby like TV, outside noise, etc.
– The baby is not interested in trying new food.
– The baby is allergic to food for which you need to be careful and observe how the baby reacts.
Babies take time to get adjusted to new food so parents don’t have to worry. It is better to wait and observe the baby’s eating habits for a few days and the consult a doctor if they find anything alarming.
Abby D. says
I am at my wit’s end with my 5-year old daughter. For years now, we have known that, if she gets too hungry, she turns into a completely different person: she goes from being happy and active, to sullen and angry and lethargic. So we have always tried to get her to eat BEFORE she reaches that point. But now she’s to where she will hardly eat anything, ever, and it makes every day an epic nightmare. So I don’t appreciate when people say, “oh, don’t force her to eat–so what if she feels hungry? she’ll eat more the next meal.” Well, when she gets too hungry, she ruins life for the rest of our family–screaming, refusing to do what needs to be done (get dressed; get shoes on; get in the car to go to school, etc.). Yet I am not supposed to force her to eat. So what am I supposed to do??? I present her with several healthy options for every meal and every snack, she takes a single nibble, and, if I do not insist that she eat anything else, she very quickly has an epic meltdown that terrorizes us all. Those times when I do force her to eat, she almost immediately is happy again, after a single bite! Please, what am I supposed to do? I feel like the advice to not force your kid to eat is for NORMAL kids, with normal blood sugar levels, but my kid is not normal in that sense. She never has been. And, for what it’s worth, neither is her father, nor am I. If either of us gets too hungry, we get angry and unbearable to be around. So I guess this is genetic. But what to do???
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Abby. Thanks for reaching out! I can sense your frustration. Parenting is tough… and toddlers YIKES! What you’re describing sounds like “h’anger”. I get it too! When blood sugars dip too low it can cause irritability and headaches. I would first examine your daughters feeding schedule, the types of foods offered (staying power would be key), as well as your family feeding dynamics. Try to offer food every 2-3 hours, but also foods that will be satisfying and provide long lasting satiety – high fibre foods and protein would be a great start. I’d love to help more. Please reach out to my counselling dietitian – Lesley at lesley@sarahremmer.com. She can help, because feeding should be fun – even when toddlers are crazy 😉
Hon.paul says
That’s very good, I believe henceforth I have learned how to handle this difficult situation “
Catherine says
At what age can kids start giving input for meals? I’d like to try this method to see if it’ll help with my daughter’s picky ness, but she’s only 17 months old. Is there a way to get kids involved at a young age?
Sarah Remmer says
17 months might be a little young for having mealtime input, but I like where you are going. My suggestion would be to make a list of acceptable snacks to post on your fridge (crackers and nut butter, sliced fruit and cheese, toddler friendly trail mix, etc). Not too many that it would be overwhelming, but enough to make it feel like your daughter is involved in determining her own snack. When in truth you are still in control! Hope this helps.
Dhiksha Roy says
It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had. The way to live in the present is to remember that ‘This too shall pass.’ When you experience joy, remembering that ‘This too shall pass’ helps you savor the here and now. I loved the opinions expressed herein and thank you for this wonderful article on parenting.
Mrs S@whenfithitstheshan says
Fantastic article! I included a link in my recent post at https://whenfithitstheshan.com/2019/01/28/6-techniques-to-try-when-your-kid-eats-all-the-time-except-during-meals.
Thank you again!! Very helpful!
Ashley J Jones says
Hello,
I’m a single mom of an almost four year old son. He’s my wild child. Really empathetic and sweet but stubborn and sneaky lol. I work fourty hours a week on minimum wage. Most of his time is spent at his aunts who is the only person I can find willing to watch him at five in the AM. That being said he is almost four and only thirty pounds he’s short and tiny. And getting him to eat has been a struggle as he only wants Mac and cheese which is lunch time at his aunts. Getting him to eat a green bean or a vegetable is a battle. This month I got pediasure which he gets one a day before bedtime and he only gets a little glass of milk during the day then it’s water. He has juice at his aunts but I don’t buy it for home. It’s mainly water. I’ve tried everything to letting him help choose dinner to telling him he gets nothing after dinner. I have started refusing to make him anything else other than his pediasure if he doesn’t eat dinner. He gets yogurt or cheese and crackers or grapes and blueberries for a snack. He loves fruit and he loves to snack I’m just at my wit’s end with the vegetables kid won’t even eat real mashed potatoes so between the vitamins and shake im not worried about nutrients I am worried about him developing healthy eating habits any ideas?
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Ashley. I have so many ideas! But first, please know that you’re not alone! So many parents are struggling with what to feed their kids, and kids are tricky little humans :). Secondly, you’ve come to the right place. I’d love to connect with you further to chat about how I can help. I think it would be best if you met with my counselling dietitian to get you on the right path. You can reach her directly at kathryn@sarahremmer.com, or email me at sarah@sarahremmer.com for more information. Registered Dietitians are often covered under your health insurance, so it’s worth a check. I hope this helps. Looking forward to chatting more!
Koreen Erickson says
I like the tips. Alot are comon seance type things. I do alot of them already. I let my 4 year old daughter tell me what she wants to eat. I give her what she wants and often let her help with prep. But we are having a problem. It doesn’t matter if she chose or not or if its healthy or junk food. She never eats more than 3 or 4 bites of anything. I cut back on her drinks, w.i.c. told me to. Still only eats 3 or 4 bites at a time. If i tell her to eat another she holds it in her mouth for way to long or starts gagging and choking when she swallows. She is constantly complaining her belly hurts b4 and after eating. She was born with an imperferated anus and a vaginal attreasha. Could it be a medical issue? She wastes everything and even cookies and ice cream are a 4 bite quit. What should i do? I can feel every bone in her body. I am afraid i have a 4 year old anorexic. Please help.
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Koreen. Thanks for reaching out. Does she complain about a sore belly for all foods? How is her stool? I would advise you to contact your family doctor to discuss your concerns. Your doctor can take a multidisciplinary approach and get a Registered Dietitian and a Speech Language Pathologist involved (to assess her diet and oral motor function if necessary). My thought would be she’s limiting her consumption due to belly pain – is there a family history of celiac disease perhaps?
Juliet says
Most of the comments here and literally the whole article is about toddlers. I have a 16 year old daughter who has erratic eating habits. She has had them for the past 2 years and since then, has progressed a bit, but she often finds herself telling me and my husband that she “isn’t hungry” and it worries me that she isn’t eating enough. She will eat, forcedly. For her own good. What can we do? Is it ok for her to skip meals frequently? Do you have any suggestions? Maybe it’s not your specialty but I was hoping I would find some answers.
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Juliet. I can sense your concerns. Would your daughter be interested in meeting with a dietitian to discuss her relationship with food? I’d love to hear more. Please email me at sarah@sarahremmer.com, or contact my counselling dietitian Kathryn (at kathryn@sarahremmer.com) to hear more about our practice.
Kay says
I’m not liking the replies to comments I’m seeing. It seems as though the author of the article will only address people’s issues or comments through private emails. I understand that every situation is different as every child is. However, I don’t find it helpful or respectful to ask for people’s comments who you know are reading this article because they are struggling with this specific issue and then to merely say “email me” especially without expectations of cost or what types of services you could actually provide. If you want your post to be informative, then do that. If you want your post to be an ad for your services then let it been know up front. Please present your purpose first, I promise won’t need to try and rope us in.
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Kay. Sorry you feel that way. If I can answer a question via the comment section I definitely will, especially if the answer is one that will help multiple readers. Sometimes the question is pretty straight forward! For instances where the question is more complex I really do require more information to help. This is where I will ask the commenter to contact me via email so I can get a better understanding of their child and situation. Sometimes I can help through an email conversation, but based on my professional assessment I might suggest seeking proper counselling from a registered dietitian. There’s never a cost associated with emailing me, so please don’t hesitate to reach out. I truly am here to help!
basel says
arigato senpai for the information
Jeannette says
I left a comment after reading the article but I forgot to thank you because I think tomorrow will be a better day since I have a new perspective. I won’t try to force him to eat and I’m not going to give him any juice or milk tomorrow unless he eats.. I hope that helps and that I’m not wrong
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Jeannette. I would love to hear how things are going. Please email me at sarah@sarahremmer.com. My lead counselling dietitian (kathryn@sarahremmer.com) is available to meet with you one-on-one if you are interested. Our goal is to create happy, healthy, independent eaters. Mealtimes shouldn’t end in tears and frustration. We are here to help!
Jeannette says
I’m near tears and at the end of my patience with my almost 2 year old son. I’m here at 10:29 pm after frustratingly trying to force him to eat something solid even if it had been a couple of spoonfuls I would’ve been happy. He’s down to only eating one solid meal a day and 1 light snack! I’ve taken him to see his pcp but they referred me to therapy which I’ve been going to for almost two months and we’re still waiting for a “diagnosis” meanwhile I’m over here begging that he won’t lose any weight and become to weak
HOLLE Goat Milk Stage 2 says
Thanks for sharing this informative blog about child food. Babies mostly do not want to eat food they need some different taste every time. By this blog I am much familiar about baby food and how we can rid of it.
Naome says
Ooooooh thanks. U have healed my worry about the kid
Joe says
Hi Sarah. My girlfriend allows her 4 year old daughter to snack constantly. When it’s meal time she never wants to eat. I’m not sure how to broach the subject with her, but I feel like it’s not a very good habit to continue in the long run. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Joe. Thanks for reaching out. You are correct. Snacking (or grazing) throughout the day actually provides kids with less food intake (and therefore nutrition) than if they had scheduled meals and snacks. One way to encourage regular meals and snacks would be to set the example. Invite everyone to the table to enjoy their snacks and meals together. As adults we forget about snacking, but it is important for us too! Feel free to pass along my email (sarah@sarahremmer.com). Your girlfriend is welcome to contact me with any questions. Good luck!
Cynthia says
Hi. My 3 yr old goes to daycare. She is there for ten hours a day. For the past two or three weeks she has not been eating at all. Only some drinks.. But when she gets home she eats fine with no problem. But she drinks a lot a alot of milk. Exspecially at bedtime.. What could be the problem?? Could it be medical or just a stage??
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Cynthia. It is normal for kids appetites to increase and decrease. I am assuming she has been at the daycare in question for longer than 3 weeks? Was she previously eating okay there? Has anything else changed? Kids can be tricky when it comes to eating. Feel free to send me an email at sarah@sarahremmer.com. It’s important for all caregivers to be on the same page when it comes to mealtime and feeding dynamics :). I also have a counselling practice if you’re looking for some one-on-one guidance. For milk I recommend no more than 2 cups per day as it can displace other nutrients. Hope this helps!
Baokhinhi says
I am also experiencing the same problem with my 1 year old son. He does not seem to have any interest in food, and every meal lasts for hours. I will practise the solution which the article has shared. Hope to have more good posts like this.
Sarah Remmer says
I’m happy you found this article! Please feel free to email me at sarah@sarahremmer.com. I’d love to hear if the stratagies worked for you!
nguyenthithuha says
This post is very helpfull for me. Thanks for sharing.
In my opinion, the problem with digestion or absorption of food, for example, digestive disorders in children are one of the reasons why children don’t want to eat. On the other, the main cause of digestive disorder in children is imbalance of gut bacteria.
Hope my comment will help people who are having problems feeding their children.
Robert W says
Thanks for the great advice and insight. I’m a recently-divorced father of a 7-year old girl and am quite concerned about her eating. She splits time between me and her mother and we have very different parenting styles. I try not to pressure her but your advice was an eye-opener. My concern, though, is with her own self-imagine.
My daughter is very small for her age and is very self-conscious about her size: she weighs 41 lbs and is constantly being told how “cute” and “tiny” she is by well-meaning adults and (occasionally less well-meaning) children. She’s very mature and intelligent but people assume she’s 4 or 5, which she finds very infantilizing and upsetting. I don’t know if her self-consciousness about her stature is related to her eating habits in some sort of psychological negative-feedback loop. I do believe, however, that there’s a self-imposed pressure component that increases her anxieties about eating. I understand that putting more pressure on her (however subtly) can exacerbate the problem. However, I’m not sure how to help break her out of the self-conscience/food-anxiety loop.
Sarah Remmer says
Hi Robert. Thanks for reaching out. You’re asking great questions. I run a counselling practice called The Centre for Family Nutrition. If you’re interested, I’d love to chat more about how I can help. Please email me at sarah@sarahremmer.com.
Jessica says
So what do you do if they refuse to eat what you make for dinner? Make something else or they go to bed hungry?
Sarah Remmer says
It’s so hard and frustrating! Stick to boundaries. Remind them that the kitchen is closed, but we have another opportunity to eat at bedtime snack. You might find these articles helpful: https://www.sarahremmer.com/setting-mealtime-boundaries-with-your-child/ and https://www.sarahremmer.com/picky-eating-four-common-mealtime-battle-triggers/
If you need more help, I highly suggest you get on my emailing list so you can know when we start Mealtimes Solved (online course). We cover all of this and more. Please do not hesitate to get in touch with any more questions you have so that we can help you solve this problem! https://www.sarahremmer.com/contact/
Alina smith says
Nice article its very helpfull thanks for sharing